Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes
and the people that read them. If we are to ever
fully understand all the star signs and the people
they represent, we need symbols that all true
Southerners understand: See the list below:

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20): Are tough on the outside
but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous
influence. An older Okra can look back over his
life and see the seeds of his influence
everywhere. You can do something good each day if
you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19): Chitlins come from
humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make
something of himself if he is motivated and has lots
of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful
- they may surprise you. They can erupt like
Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and
Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20): You have an
overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the
surface of things, and you feel the need to bore
deep into the interior of everything. Needless to
say, you are very intense and driven as if you had
some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend
to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is
going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20): You're the type
that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A
cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon
Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You
should marry anybody who you can get remotely
interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy.
You always have a big smile and are happy. This
might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe
not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21): When confronted with
life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency
to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it
attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people
actually think you're dead. This strategy is
probably not psychologically healthy but seems to
work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love
to watch you work and play. You are a night person
and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21): Crawfish is a water
sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging
around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach
to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and
the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be
particularly attractive physically, but you have
very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23): Collards have a genius
for communication. They love to get in the melting
pot of life and share their essence with the
essence of those around them. Collards make good
social workers, psychologists, and baseball
managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you
are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just
won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23): Catfish are
traditionalists in matters of the heart, although
one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones.
You Catfish are never easy people to understand.
You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though
you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface
of life, you are liked by most. Above all else,
Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23): Your highest aim is to be
with others like yourself. You like to huddle
together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love
to travel though, so maybe you should think about
joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere
they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and
a good time. If you can go somewhere where they
have all these things; that serves you well. You
are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23): You have a
passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, those who know you best, your
friends and loved ones, may find that your
personality is much too salty, and their criticism
will affect you deeply because you are really much
softer than you appear. You should go right ahead
and marry anybody you want to because in a certain
way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life,
you can be sure that people will always pull over
and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22): Always invite a
Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get
along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean,
should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life,
and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You
can sit next to anybody. However, you, too,
shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21): You have a tendency to
develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite
gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you--old
friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and
insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned
with today's fashions and trends. You're not
concerned with anything about today. You're almost
prehistoric in your interests and behavior
patterns. You probably want to marry another
Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky
mating possibility.